The weird dreams i dream.

Today i woke up about an hour after i usually wake up... although yesterday... it was 2 hours Later.
I think i want to Blame Criminal Minds For my weird dreams and lack of proper sleep... Yesterday morning i woke up thinking i needed to find "ruth's" Diary so we could figure out who would want to Kidnap her... i don't even know anyone by the name of Ruth... but within a few seconds of opening my eyes and stretching out of the ball i usually turn into while sleeping, i snapped back to reality and laughed at my self for letting a tv show Turn me crazy... like that time i watched Doll house and woke up in the night Smacking my self along side the head saying "why are you making me do this" i thought i had no control over my hands and the "dollhouse people" were making me do it... One can't help but laugh at themselves when they awake properly and realise that they are most likely INSANE!! haha Although.. that time i was super sick and had a fever... so i'll blame it all on that!! :D

Tuesday night i dreamed that i could fly... I hate those dreams for the very fact that i always have to wake up to the reality that ... i cannot just flap my arms and fly. Sometimes it's not even Flapping my arms... sometimes i have to hold some random object to make me fly... Like a Playing card. or once i flew on a tennis racket as if it were a Witch's broom. Sometimes though.. i don't fly.. i just jump really high. and in my dreams i'm used to doing it but part of me is still majorly Freaked out at how high i can get.

then there's the weird dreams where i'm drowning but for a few seconds after my head goes under the water i can breathe, i always find myself thinking "Wow this is like that dream i once had except it's real life" and the waking up to find that indeed.. it was just like the other dreams i have when i breathe under water. I'm such a weirdo...

The two types of dreams never go together though.. usually... Except tuesday i dreamed that i was flying over the river in cork city.. and someone was drowning so i stopped flying and tried to help them... then i was drowning... except not really cuz i was breathing under water... i think my face just sometimes gets covered by my blanket and so my brain tries to compensate for what my body is feeling. Like the moments before you're going to sleep and suddenly your foot jerks... and you feel like you dreamed you were tripping.. well i think that you only think you dreamed you were tripping cuz your brains trying to make sense of the random Foot Jerking.

Really i'm just rambling on hoping to keep myself awake long enough to be tired enough to sleep properly.


Goodnight.

Dear Assholes.

So 6 Months has turned into like... well not 6 months!

I'm leaving on December the 3rd to go back "home"
I' excited to see my family and My Poco Sinorita and Spuddy!
I'm happy that i will be with my family for Christmas, And i'll see Niamh on her first Birthday.
I'm Excited to drive around again, i miss having a car.
I'm Excited to see Friends there.

But i know that there are people Waiting for me back there, Who, as soon as they see me 4 months before i meant for them to, will sit with That smug look on their Face thinking "i knew she couldn't do it" Those same people that made That place as Miserable is it was, Who if were as good as they thought they were... well they'd have been translated by now... so i guess... well.. ha.

But...
Screw them right?

"don't Gossip" "ooh you can't say that" "ooh i'm telling on you"
I Love it! people who think they have the right to treat people like crap because of their "good standing"


'i guess it got stored someway and we just forgot about it" Oh ok so that's fine then. NOT REALLY!!

Seriously!!! When gossip travels as fast as it does there, do you really think you have the right to treat people like crap, there's plenty Gossip to go around about everyone... and just because you only told people you trust... well that doesn't mean it won't get around. Believe me i already made that mistake. So self Righteous. but it's kind of funny i guess... because you really think people don't know. so it's funny to me when you act like you're perfect and i know you're not. Which is fine! because no one's perfect. but Don't damn well pretend you are either. you look like more of an asshole pretending you're perfect than when you just admit your faults!



"did you hear about Christi"
" Hey Christi! @#$#% told me about..."

"i don't know why they said that.. i never told a soul"

"i never said anything like that"


I'm so sick of the Bullshit! honestly... Get over yourself and worry about your own Lives

Sticking your noses in where they don't belong... not just with me... that's for sure....
Taking stuff you hear on a Personal (non Church) level and Turning it into some International Church Scandal... Boo hoo.. i'm telling. Grow up. Seriously. alll the room in the world to judge other people when it's not your or your family... cuz then it's all "who the hell are the to judge me" Well who the hell are you to judge anyone. and then you still think i don't know. and you greet me with that holier than thou smile.... like "i'm smiling and she's smiling so she must not know, Yesss" but well.. i was just smiling to cover up the fact that i think you're a complete asshole...


And now.... for the Lovely Family Discussions to follow Like that time i did something stupid when i was like 12 and everyone knew before my parents. it wasn't a case of right and wrong... it was a case of "ooh come Listen to this... Hear What Christi did, ok i guess we should tell her parents now that we've discussed it around the dinner table"
Little Emails and texts etc about oh how could Christi Even think about saying that and ooh that was totally aimed at me bla bla... Maybe you can even print it out or forward it in an email... Let's play a game and see how fast we can get Christi into trouble huh? ok go!
"oh no but Christi get's herself into trouble" yeah whatever. let's not talk about people getting themselves into trouble M'kay.


And then we can all act like we don't know where this all came from... and Oh Hey Christi... how's it going. are you ok...
Or we can cut the crap and not waste each others time.
I'm in Favour of the latter. Because i'm So done with Faking smiles for the sake keeping the peace. and just being expected to do so.


And to everyone else. see you when i get home :)

Well Well Well... Guess who's in Utah for the next 6 months! ... Christi is!


It's a really weird feeling... Like even when i was getting on the plane it felt like it wasn't supposed to be real... and now still waking up every morning (there's a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriends four post bed) *sorry that was random* back to the point... it still feels like it's not real! i guess it'll start to feel more normal after a while... After all.. it's only been 4 days...

But yeah! Utah's so pretty! i Love the mountains! didn't really get the chance to see them like this the last time i was here for the 3 days....


Anyhoo... That's it for now! :D


Christi